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854 North Central Street
Knoxville, TN, 37917
United States

(865) 245-9080

Help You Dwell is a home and workspace organizing service based in Knoxville, Tennessee.

Blog

goodbye shame

taryn mcLean

There is one thing that is sure to keep all of us right where we are today and to keep us from any forward motion in our lives. It's shame. 

Inspirational image via @brilamberson 

Inspirational image via @brilamberson 

There is nothing productive about shame. It keeps you hidden, stuck, embarrassed, and far from opportunity and growth. So many people we know: our neighbors, family members and friends can easily get caught in house-shame. Here are some lies that shame would have us to believe: Your home isn't as beautifully decorated as it should be, your kids rooms are too messy to invite friends over, you could never host a dinner or party in your space, people would not respect you if they saw inside your house, there is no hope for people like you... I'm sure we could each rattle off many more lies that shame tries to keep us trapped in. Shame tries to put all the weight on our weaknesses. 

Spoiler alert - it's all lies. Shame is just a big lie. No matter how chaotic your calendar, closet, garage, purse, or your work desk is... it can change. (Insert hope!) Remember, we own our things, they do not have power to own us. It's time to make a power play and return power to the rightful owner- you! You have the capacity and ability to make things different. Little by little, progress is possible. Getting started is usually the most difficult part- it takes some serious courage and here are two other things that will be key to moving out of shame and into action. 

Inspirational image via @lisaclowstudio

Inspirational image via @lisaclowstudio

Inspirational image via @azford 

Inspirational image via @azford 

A humble perspective will go a long way when you decide to tackle an overwhelming task. Your "whole house" is a daunting and unrealistic goal for today. Small steps and little actions can snow ball into a great wave of order and organization in your life. Just pace yourself! Forgive yourself when certain areas or projects take longer than you intended. Make small goals and celebrate the completion of each one, they really do each matter. 

Inspirational image via @thenester

Inspirational image via @thenester

A kind friend is one of the greatest tools to bring with you on your journey from being stuck to making progress. Someone who will speak truthfully and also be sensitive to your emotions in a process like purging is so helpful. Look for these valuable qualities in a friend: someone who is able to laugh at unexpected finds, willing to grieve with you over painful memories, not afraid to remind you how many pairs of toe socks you already have. There is something magical about walking through a challenge with a dear friend - it eases the load and makes it a little more bearable. Accountability for keeping up with your journey to freedom from disorganization is another reason to bring a friend along. You aren't alone with your shameful thoughts, you have an ally to work through your thoughts with. 

It is one of the greatest joys we experience with our HYD clients when we see the weight of shame lifted as they start to see hope in their situation. We get to bring practicality, a plan and fresh perspective to places that are sources of stress and frustration for our clients. We carry hope and creative organizational ideas into closets, rooms, homes and workspaces that disorganization previously claimed. 


Challenge yourself today to identify an area of your home that brings up shame and create one small goal to accomplish this week. You can do it. Shame is a liar and you are capable. And if you want professional help, we would be humbled to walk alongside you on your journey to organization.