Letting Go of the Sippy Cup

Sometimes we just don't see it coming. Life brings changes we never dreamed of. The changes can be full of hope and excitement with so many opportunities and possibilities in front us. Other times, these changes can be the opposite. The loss of a dream, a relationship, or even a life.

Recently, HYD had the great privilege of walking alongside a loving mama named Leanne who had to say goodbye to her baby son. Leanne also happens to be a dear childhood friend of mine. November 14, 2012, Baby Drew entered this world as a mighty warrior fighting for life from day one, 8 months later, he "passed peacefully from parent's arms into the arms of Jesus." I won't begin to share with you the journey this was for my friend & her family, you can only imagine. God never left their side, but the pain endured and the loss they continue to feel matches nothing I've ever known. If you're interested in reading more, here is the CaringBridge journal.

What I do want to share is what life is like two years later, when the room in their house that was to be Drew's still sits waiting for him to come home from the NICU at Vanderbilt that he never left. Drew's mama has tried for months to redo the room, find new purpose for it, and let go of some of Drew's baby gear that he'll never get to use. There are so many emotions attached to these items.

When we lose something precious, our grief process may have some similarities to others but truly it is always our own process. Drew's mom has clung desperately to her faith, her family, and her friends. Leanne's transparency through this journey has been immeasurable. It has also allowed countless others to confess the hard, ask for help, and find healing through inviting others to share their own burdens.

In this season, after all the CaringBridge readers are gone, the sympathy cards and casseroles don't come any longer, and most people think her family ought to be "back to normal," Drew's mom knows that the healing will never be full until she holds her boy again in Eternity. Until then, there's a room in her home that needs new life. This is where Help You Dwell comes in.

Leanne knew it was time. She was ready. She called and said she didn't know where to start.

Caroline and I got there at 10:30am and by 2pm, Drew's room was well on it's way to be a guest and family craft room for both she and her 9 year old son, Nate. 

The process was wonderful and hard at the same time. Drew's mom got to sift through some of the thoughtful, handmade gifts she's received along the way. HYD helped her make decisions about how to donate certain items and how to discard others. One of the hardest items to let go of were the sippy cups she had saved for him. Any of you who've had the blessing of multiple children have saved items from your older kids that the younger ones can use. This bag of sippy cups had been Nate's. All the other items she had saved could be donated or given to a friend to use, but sippy cups aren't really items to share with others. You really just use them for your own kids so she knew they would just have to go in the trash. It's amazing how so much of a person can be wrapped up in an object.

Listening, waiting, and gently encouraging her to let go of the bag of cups wasn't easy but it was good. She would agree. We moved on to the next items and by 2pm, the room was transformed into a place that allowed her to see all kinds of possibilities.

In closing, I want to also share a little of my friend's experience having Help You Dwell enter into this intimate & sensitive place to walk alongside her in this journey.  Upon writing this blog, I shared it with her before posting & she responded with her journal entry just after we had come. Here is an excerpt she gave me permission to share...

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Yesterday, Taryn and Caroline came and helped me declutter Drew's room. It was an amazing, productive, and heart wrenching time. It felt like forever, but it was 4 hours. Funny how you lose a sense of time when you're in that kind of space. (at one point, I commented that cleaning out spaces seems to go a lot faster on HGTV) I was so anxious leading up to our time and asked so many to pray for that time. God was faithful to be there. He gave me a willing spirit to get rid of stuff and to stay on task. He also blessed me with 2 precious sisters to walk with me in this process. What a gift!!

Several times since they left, I have gone into Drew's room and just enjoyed the space. It's open and mostly organized. (there are still boxes to go through, but they are in the basement and out of sight... this could be dangerous. You know, out of sight. Out of mind.) I love the space and the reward of having purged so much stuff yesterday. However, I know the room isn't finished. We began the day yesterday discussing what the space should be. I LOVE, LOVE that Help You Dwell's goal is to make spaces functional and to bring purpose to a room.

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Caroline and I know that when we enter someone's home or even workspace, we often come across the parts of our clients' spaces that stay hidden. We expect to hear stories although they're never required. And always, there is no judgement on our part. We expect a mess, that's why you called us in the first place. 

Taryn, Leanne, Caroline

Why not just leave all that stuff in the attic?

People often take action on spaces or rooms that guests or family see and utilize but what about the spaces that most people don't see; the ones that internally weigh you down? Most of us have a stash hidden in our closets, attics, or basements. Why not leave it there?

Image from Sundaytimes.co.uk

The problem with accumulating things and then hiding them away is that one day they have to be dealt with by you or by the family you leave behind. Often times we carry around subconcious guilt or anxiety about those spaces. We form attachments to our stuff or maybe attachments to the idea of having access to stuff. There is a process that one must go through to mentally prepare to let go of things. Part of the decluttering process begins with a good look at how you think about your things. For many of us, holding on to things is a way to feel safe about a future need that may or may not ever occur. We encourage you to think about what it would be like to only keep items that truly give you joy? Sometimes it's simply a matter of stopping to think about the purpose you originally had behind a purchase. You may find that it's served it's purpose and can be passed along. We've found that decluttering doesn't come naturally to many people. Organizing and decluttering your home can be really overwhelming, even scary at times. On top of those things, letting go is HARD! It usually takes an outsider to help you not get stuck in your head when trying to make decisions on what to keep. It's only natural to begin thinking of all the reasons to not get rid of things when the real question (and way less time consuming question) is whether keeping it will bring you joy. Being ready to declutter doesn't happen over night, it's a personal journey that doesn't work if you've reluctantly agreed after being coerced by a friend of family member. The decluttering and ultimately the organizing process only works when you truly want to be free of your stuff.

Image by Texture Photo

Our goal is never to convince anyone to do anything they don't want to do but rather for you to be so convinced that you need freedom from your things that you make the move to call us. We want you to be the hero of your clutter problem and we are here, ready to guide you along the way.

"I'm not a professional organizer..."

 OK, well maybe my profession is organizing, but I've never been too comfortable with the title "professional organizer." It continues to be more about the person than the organizing. I think of myself as a "personal organizer." 

Photo by Texture Photo

As Caroline and I talked about this earlier in the week, we both agreed that we love bringing the order and peace to someone's home or work space. It truly gives us such satisfaction to create living and working spaces for clients to move from that "stuck" place into a place where they can live more fully.

Image courtesy of Christina Rosalie

At the same time, letting our clients off the hook a little, showing grace as they share their story, and celebrating the victories as we finish spaces is by far the highlight of what we do.

 

Getting to hear the story that brought clients to where they are, whether they need HYD a little or a lot, and then getting to see hope rise as the clutter begins to clear is why we show up.

That's all we ask of our clients too. Just show up. It might be that the idea of letting go of sentimental or valuable items seems daunting, your budget is limited, or you just don't know where to start. HYD gets all that. To be practical, that's why our initial consultation is free. We want to hear what's going on, give you tools to help, and show up to work alongside you in the way you need us too.

And finally, I can't finish this quick post without thanking those folks that have allowed us into their homes and offices thus far. We have so loved this journey and wait eagerly to be part of yours.

Our New Home : The Hive

The past couple weeks have been quite a whirlwind for our little Knoxville business. For the past year and a half, we have been so grateful for the incredible clients we've met, the beautiful homes we've had the chance to work in, and the opportunities and relationships that have come our way. We've enjoyed all our meetings and markets in our 'mobile offices' all over town including KBrew, Three Rivers Market, The Smith home on Coker Ave, Remedy Coffee, The McLean home on Maplewood Dr, Old City Java, Olibea, MidMod Collective, and Nostalgia.

This week, however, we are over the moon to announce that Help You Dwell has a place to call home! It's called The Hive.

HYD now has a place to spend time preparing, planning, learning, and growing as a company. The Hive is a place for us to better serve you, our client. It's a place for us to be inspired, connected, and to collaborate with creative and innovative minds of other small business owners.

Photo by Emilee Stanley

The space is in the former KnoxTenn Rental building at 854 N Central St 37917 located right next door to Magpies Bakery. (We're also pretty pumped about having them as neighbors : ) Rebecca Ridner, a local stylist of all things lovely, is the visionary of the building and has created a beautiful space for women entrepreneurs. HYD shares a studio with one of Knoxville's most talented wedding photographers, Carrie Jo Pinckard of Texture Photography. Other women currently working at The Hive are Katie Roach, florist of The Katelier, Ali Daugherty, blogger and graphic designer of Freedom Crown, and Rebecca Ridner, prop, wedding and interior stylist.

The Katelier

One of the aspects of this space we love the most is the common area that we all share for hosting pop-ups, workshops, or photography sessions. The light is fantastic, the atmosphere is peaceful and inviting, and the location is in one of our favorite areas of the city. We look forward to hosting our first event, which we mentioned last week, HYD's first Boutique Clothing Pop-up on August 23 from 2-5pm. We'd love to show you around a bit as you peruse Colette's Closet of top of the line clothing at consignment prices.

Keep an eye out for announcements about workshops
and other events this fall at The Hive.

And come by to see us anytime you're in the neighborhood!

Celebrate your Independence from Clutter!

That's right. We want you to get free from the clutter. HYD is celebrating our great nation's independence by offering 1 hour of free organizing or staging.  No matter how big or small the project, we want to give you some of our time to get you closer to freedom from your extra stuff & bring some peace & order to the spaces that need it most.  Details below...

How do you get this free hour?
Call or email us by July 18 to schedule your free consultation.

All you need to do is:
Email us at info@helpyoudwell.com or call us at 865.245.9080 to set up your free consultation today!

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HYD can help you with all kinds of organizing & staging needs.
We can help with:

- Organizing Home or Workspace, including every room in your house as well as your place of business
- Organizing your Home or Workspace before a move & assist with organized packing
- Staging your home to sell using items in your home to make it look it's best
- Create space for a new inhabitant:  baby, parent, roommate, etc
- Refresh your existing space using items in your home &/or workspace

Routines

Recently I've been really interested in learning about peoples routines. Specifically,  morning and nightly routines. I'm one of those weird hybrid gals who loves order but is somehow still free spirited. This usually means that I love the concept and idea of having rhythms in life but sometimes find it hard to commit to them.

I'm finding that leading an ordered life doesn't mean I have to be the most disciplined person on the planet but it does mean that I tend to be most at peace when I'm practicing a few choice routines. I know myself well enough to know that I'm more likely to stick with something if I make it as simple as possible. Lately, I've been inspired to adopt a few simple routines in my own life. Here they are:

Be Nice To My Skin: Witch-hazel to remove makeup and clean pores and Argan oil to moisturize. Every night, people. Every. Night. (I've been known to wake up in yesterdays makeup in the past)

Drink more water: I always forget, but two things have been helping me remember to stay hydrated. 1. I bought a pretty water bottle that I like taking with me places and that I like drinking out of.  2. I must say yes anytime anyone offers me water-- I never noticed how often I am offered water until I started following this rule. 

Monthly closet purge: This probably sounds crazy to most people but I go through my closet monthly and try to be reasonable about what needs to go. For me, the hardest things to let go of are the items that "I haven't worn in a year but would be perfect for that one random occasion with that one pair of pants that I also haven't worn in a year." I'm really trying to pare down and only keep things that I love wearing and that make me feel confident.

Weekly Bath: Don't worry, I shower in between :)  but I've recently rediscovered how flipping amazing a bath can be. Think candles, books, and floral scented soap.

Soaking in the Morning Quiet: This one is the hardest for me during the winter because the bed is just so warm. I have a comfy chair by a sunny window that is my morning spot. I'm attempting to make it routine to sit there for 30 minutes each morning with a cup of tea to read, think, be still, pray, or journal.

Sweat a little:  Pilates classes at 9:00am Tuesdays and Thursdays at the East Knoxville YMCA are my favorite. Anne is a great teacher and I feel more motivated in a class than by myself.  I'm starting realistically and trying to make 2 days a week at the gym a routine.

I'm super curious... Do you like routines? What are some of yours?

C

Be Yourself.

Our homes are the places where the majority of us spend the most time, the place where we laugh, cry, rest, dance, yell, sing, dream, make our messes, stash our treasures and share life with others.  We get that.  We love that.

Photo compliment of Stylish Eve

We also love our clients.  Just about every week, Help You Dwell gets the pleasure of meeting a new face and hearing a new story.  It has been such a joy for us.  Often, when we walk into a new clients' home, the first thing we hear is "sorry."  Clients are sorry for the mess, sorry they've let it go this far, sorry they can't do better on their own.  We understand.  We never judge.  We have a story too.

"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."  Maya Angelou

- Excerpted from Letter to My Daughter, a book of essays (2009)

As we walk through our plans to help folks find order and peace in their living space, we want to hear the story that brought them to this place.  It's so important in the process of organization of one's home.  HYD never wants a client to think that we're coming into a home to get rid of all the clutter just so it looks better.  Our goal is to always help the client live life with the freedom from the extras that pile up all around.  Working alongside the client, embracing their story, and being part of the process that helps to write a few lines in the next chapter is an honor for us.

Be yourself.  Just with less stuff and more you.  You are worth the effort. 

Let us help you dwell.

Life Resolutions

Because I'm an avid list maker I must admit that I have always loved making New Years Resolutions. In the past I've made lists of practical things I would like to do differently during the year. This year, however, I decided to make a life list. I chose things that I will more than likely work on and work towards until the day I die. These phrases are not my own words but are lines that stuck with me over the course of the year--things I read, things that were shared with me, things that I saw in other people. More than anything I want to be less consumed with my stuff and myself.

1. Buy less, choose well.

2. Collect moments, not things.

3. Be ware of hurry.

4. Live more from intention and less from habit.

5. Wherever you are, be all there.

6. Remember: The grass is greener where you water it.

7. Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.

8. Remember that comparison is the thief of joy.

9. Drive less, bike/walk more.

10. Do small things with great love.

We would love to hear from you all! What do you think about New Years Resolutions? Do you have any for this year? For life?

Organized Room = Project Finished

Time to let you in on a little secret...

I'm not always organized. 

My house has rooms that I'm not always proud of, usually multiple ones.  This is one big reason why I want to walk alongside you amazing people to overcome those spaces that keep you from entertaining, creating or just enjoying your home or workspace.

Thankfully, I have an incredible business partner who serves me as wonderfully as she serves our clients.  (She would also tell you her home has those rooms too :) Caroline generously offered to help me dwell a bit in one of my favorite spaces in my house.

It's that room I want to spend more time in.  It's away from the busyness of our household of five plus a puppy, my favorite books are in there, all my crafting materials, stationery, journals, photos to edit, and the light is wonderful, hence the name, sunroom.  It's my office & creativity room.  My daughter plays violin in it as well.

Unfortunately, it too often looked like this...

Quickly, it had become the dump room, the "I don't know where this goes (or am too lazy to put it away now) so put it in the sunroom" room.  The thing is, all these items have homes and many of them in the trash or donation box.

After just a couple of short hours, a few moves of furniture, and a rearranging of decorative items from all over the house, (Caroline is soooo good at this!)  I got this room back...

I love being in here now.  I'm so thankful for setting aside the time, having a dear & talented friend to help, and purging so many unneeded items.

The story doesn't end there though.  So, what happens in a room that's ordered, organized & inspiring??  Well, your daughter comes in to practice violin, notices the sewing machine neatly stored under the table and asks, "Mama, can we sew?"  To which I can finally say, "yes."  Below is the finished product, Saige is very happy in her new nightgown, and Kate is even happier that she got to make it, with a little help from mama.  Find the pattern here.

The Greatest Christmas Gift

"Fear not, for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped swaddling clothes and lying in a manger." Luke 2: 10-12

Help You Dwell wishes you and yours the most Merry of Christmases!  May your hearts be full of the great Joy that has come for all the people.

The Thankful List

What better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than to make a list of the many things we are thankful for. Here are each of our top 5.

Caroline's list:

Photo by Knox Heritage

1. My Knoxville Community. I'm thankful for my neighborhood, the kids down the street that stop by to say hello, the older gentleman that always waves when I walk by, and the neighbors that we have shared meals and stories with. I'm thankful for a downtown that is creative and encourages new businesses, the farmers market, and local festivals. I'm thankful for my church which is made up of a mess of humans that hurt each other but strive to confess and repent and live life together. I'm thankful for a city that feels like home to me.

2. This sermon. Daryl Arnold from OBC in East Knoxville preached at our church on November 17th and I basically cried through the whole thing. Thank God (literally) that I don't have to work my way into a relationship with Him.

Photo by Katie Norrell

3. A home and a family. After working in the social work field for several years I often think of the many neighbors we have in our city who spend their nights on park benches and in tents. Many of these people are estranged from their families and holidays just become another day of the year to them. I'm thankful for a husband and family that love me in spite of myself.

4. Good Health. I have a few friends and family members that have chronic health problems and illnesses and it has made me much more mindful of how thankful I am to be in good health. I've watched as people I love have struggled with the most humbling grace and rawness and have watched in amazement at the beauty that seems to accompany brokenness.

5. The ability to make money doing something I love. It is uncommon in our world to have the opportunity to do what you love for a living. I still kind of can't believe that Taryn and I get to work together to organize, stage, decorate and meet amazing people along the way. What a privilege! 

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Taryn's list:

1.  My family's health.  Matt, my kids, myself & both sets of our parents are alive & very healthy.  I am so grateful my kids get to know their grandparents & that Matt & I get to be active & involved in our kids lives.

2.  My people.  The close circle of women, men & children that I get to love & be loved by brings me to tears weekly, if not daily.  I am thankful that I am known & cared for by so many.

3.  Hope.  No matter the circumstances, this one word has carried me beyond what I could've imagined.  I'm thankful for a husband who never gives up, friends who remind me of my purpose & a God who calls me His.

4.  East Tennessee.  This place I get to live just continues to fill me with wonder, awe & curiosity.  The people, the artisans, the hills, the food, the rivers, the music, the art, the history - I am thankful to be a Volunteer.

5.  Help You Dwell.  I have been blown away by my experience with HYD.  Any creativity that has been buried in me now has an outlet as part-owner of this little business & I just love it.  We have so much room to grow & the ground is fertile.  I am thankful.

Creative Christmas Present Idea

We now offer gift cards for this holiday season. Email us at Info@helpyoudwell.com Or visit us at Helpyoudwell.com Thanks so much!

Donations for Habitat for Humanity

It's been a couple of weeks since HYD's first ever pop-up market & we are still a little high from the experience.  Caroline & I were overwhelmed by the positive response from our shoppers as well as our vendors.  The community support from our Knoxville family was tremendous.

We are excited to say that with our 10% of profits from the sale, HYD & the vendors donated over $200 to Habitat for Humanity of Knoxville. 

HYD would also like to thank KBrew for providing their delicious coffee to our guests throughout the day.

Lastly, we wanted to show off some of the shots of the day that our dear friend, Katie Norrell took.  HYD was overjoyed to watch all the hugs, compliments & conversations throughout the day of the market.  We are looking forward to the next one, whenever it "pops-up!"

If you didn't make it out and are interested in purchasing any of these fine goods, let us know and we will get you in touch with the maker.

We had over 200 people come through our market and our vendors sold over $2,000 worth of goods. We had a blast seeing old friends and making new ones. If you took pictures at the market we would love to see them.

Meet Caroline: Social Worker turned Organizer

My last job included doing home visits in the projects, street outreach under the bridges down by Knoxville Area Rescue Ministry, and attempting to convince chronically homeless and severely mentally ill folks to take their medications and stay out of jail.

Home staging and organizing is just a little bit different than that.

I have always been a curious person and whether I'm finding out about people's stories through their life circumstances or through organizing their belongings, I love collecting pieces of peoples lives and learning about what makes people unique and also the commonalities we share.

If I'm being honest, I come by my knack for organization and decorating naturally. My mom has impeccable taste and is really great about purging her home regularly. My mom's Grandfather, followed by my mom's father, owned and ran a furniture company based out of High Point North Carolina so I'm sure I owe some of my decorating ideas to that history.

My mom and I in New Orleans.

It really all began a long time ago for me. I remember a friend in middle school thinking it was strange that along with teen vogue and Bop magazine I had a stash of interior design and home furnishing magazines. Among other bizarre childhood behaviors, I loved organizing my friends rooms, frequently rearranged all of the furniture in my room if I couldn't sleep at night, and walked around at the age of 12 making a list of all of my moms furniture that I wanted to inherit one day. Lord help me.

All of that to say, Help You Dwell has provided a great way to channel all of my organizing and staging energy into other people's homes so I don't drive my husband crazy by purging and rearranging our home every two weeks.

Andrew and Caroline Smith

On a more serious note, I have to say that the part of Help You Dwell that I love the most is getting to walk with people through change. Whether that is a big move or the decision to let go of belongings, change can be hard. Taryn and I love helping people find creative ways to hold on to memories without letting the past take over your home. We have found that so often we spend pointless time simply managing all of our things and that simplifying and getting your home organized actually frees you up to live more in the present.

Meet Taryn: Personal Trainer Turned Organizer

So this is a little “get to know Taryn” moment on the HYD blog.  Consider this my journal entry.

Matt and Taryn McLean

Let me just start by saying, I never saw this coming.  As an athlete who has always loved my job in fitness, no one could’ve predicted this shift in vocation, especially not me.  My husband has reminded me a couple times as I’ve recapped the birth of Help You Dwell that I didn’t go looking for this, HYD found me.  Now, several months later with a few jobs under my belt, I can genuinely say, “This is where my heart belongs!”

All the years I spent guiding my fitness clients to achieve their goals is so similar to what I get to do now in clients’ homes.  I’m so thankful I’ve been given this opportunity to encourage others to find freedom in their lives in a new way.  Although I don’t have a background in design nor am I terribly OCD about anything really, it has been obvious as HYD came together that Home Organization & Staging makes me come alive just as working with my personal training clients did along their fitness journeys.

My husband and I both share a passion for restoring a living space.  He owns a company that he would say is a “Residential Redevelopment Company”.  Essentially that means he loves remodeling and restoring family homes.  I love creating a living area so that people can feel free from their stuff to enjoy family, guests, free time, rest or whatever they need. The icing on the cake is that I get to do this with Caroline.

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“Don't own so much clutter that you will be relieved to see your house catch fire.”
― Wendell Berry, Farming: a hand book

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As I’ve reflected on my 18 or so years in the fitness world, I’ve learned the importance of the service provider/client relationship and how I cherish it so much.  I love to get to know people, to find out what makes them come alive and then to encourage them in that area.  Of course, this relationship is not a one-way street.  The encouragement, inspiration, and wisdom clients have shared with me have been priceless.  So much of who I am today and who I aspire to be has come from those who willingly shared their lives with me.  Walking though the homes of my HYD clients, I feel the exact same way.  I want their home to be the place they can feel best in their own skin, the place where they can laugh the hardest, rest the most peaceful and enjoy just being.  HYD clients have told their stories with their family photos, been honest about not getting it all done and then been willing to ask for help, which we all need – me included!

I hope HYD gets the chance to get to know you, encourage you, be inspired by you and that I get to be a part of it.